Have you ever wondered how some people kick goal after goal and achieve their dreams, while the rest of us spend our time focusing on mundane tasks like paying rent and contemplating what to cook for dinner? Life coach, Kerry Blake, explains how we too can set ourselves up on a path to success and live the life we want.
Baby steps are key
Most life coaches will agree that the key to achieving your goal it to take small steps towards it. "Having a dream or a goal is a little bit like standing in front of a large elephant and being told to eat the elephant with a teaspoon. You look at the huge elephant in front of you and think that it's just not possible," says Kerry. However, by breaking the elephant up into small 'bite-sized' pieces, over time, this is definitely a manageable task. "In doing this, you will find your efforts become focused on one area, then another area, rather than doing a whole lot of random things that have no particular end in mind." Kerry explains.
Model behaviour
It's much easier to emulate and adopt the things we like in others when we have someone to look up to, so find a role model. This could be someone you work with, a friend's parent or someone you don't know but look up to, say Richard Branson or Anita Roddick, the founder of The Body Shop. Kerry adds, "Ideally, a mentor will be someone who you admire both professionally and personally. This person's values, ethics and standards should align with your own. You should then focus on evaluating their values, as well as looking at ways in which they live their lives and behaviours you can model."
Staying focused
"The best thing to do in order to stay on track is make sure your goals are simple, achievable and realistic for you," Kerry advises. If you are wearing a few different hats, for example you have children, work full-time and study part-time, your goals need to be realistic. Writing down your goals is always helpful, consider using erasable marker pens so you can write your mini goals, baby steps or inspirational quotes on the microwave, fridge or bathroom mirror. Daily or weekly lists are a great way of managing your time effectively in that you can tick off both general tasks as well as small achievements that work towards your goal.
Are people laughing at your goals?
Unfortunately it's quite common for peers and family to think your goals are unrealistic and not take them seriously. Kerry says "it's also common for people feel embarrassed about their goals, especially if it takes them out of their own or their family's comfort zone. For example, you may be the first person in your family to gain a qualification or travel overseas". Rise above this by looking for a supportive friend, family member or work colleague who you feel comfortable confiding in. This person can be your sounding board, will offer approval and encouragement, and will tell you that your goals are achievable – because they are!
Top tips to achieve your goals
Kerry's background is in neurolinguistic programming which involves encouraging people to use positive language and thoughts to shape their future. Her top tips are:
1. Always frame your self-talk in positive terms
"I am intelligent, I have everything I need in order to achieve my goals- I have the strength, I have the intelligence, I have the capability. I am wise enough to do the things that are good for me and right for me and only those things".
2. Keep your goals strong, simple and stated in the present.
For example if you are undertaking an online course, you know that you are working towards a promotion or a new job in the long term, but make sure you state your goals in the present, such as 'I have everything I need to excel in these modules so that I can take another step towards a fantastic job that's waiting for me."
3. Your goals should never rely on other people.
For example, your goal mustn't be something like "I'm going for an interview and they will all love me". What is a better way to phrase this to yourself is, "I'm excited to be going for this interview today and I know that I'll perform to my absolute best and I will do a wonderful job. I will speak up with pride and certainty for myself and I am fully prepared to be my best".
4. Remember to smile.
Smiling makes you feel better. They're also infectious and make people around you feel happier.
Kerry Blake is a professional life coach, specialising in neurolinguistic programing. She has worked with a variety of clients from all different backgrounds to help them carve out a plan to live the life they want.
